I got married at age 27 to my sweet husband who also was from a family of 14. We married latedue to his father separating us for over 3 years because of several issues he had with my family. Sam was eventually able to leave and hasn’t seen his parents since, nearly 6 years later. I personally began to have my own collapse not long into my marriage. A series of events began that would cause me to fall into deep dark depression and severe anxiety. My marriage began to suffer and took several hard hits. We experienced sudden job loss, moved out of my home state at the beginning of 2020 to Fishers, IN and we lost all support from family. We were promised a job and housing with Sam’s oldest brother, only to find 6 months later our paychecks withheld, accusations began to fly and suddenly we were displaced and homeless because my brother in law didn’t keep up the bills, unbeknownst to us.
We were accused, slandered and threatened so much that I began to seriously doubt myselfand my husband, our integrity and who I really was. Without housing, work, family or any type of support system my husband and I struggled deeply with everything we were going through as we began a desperate attempt to find our own work and start pulling our life back together.
However much I tried to keep myself going I began to find myself struggling severely with basic everyday life. By the winter of 2020 I was falling fast into deep depression and severe anxiety. I could no longer pull myself out of bed, couldn’t dress or feed myself properly, refused to go out even to get groceries and began to put on weight very quickly. My husband was at a complete loss as to how to help me. The silent panic attacks that caused me to go blank several times a day, constant tears and dilapidating anxiety began to affect him and he started pulling away from me. I was completely lost, hopeless and contemplated suicide to get away from my life that had nothing for me but pain, loneliness and so much hurt. I wanted to die. I spent time searching on Facebook for work for my husband and started searching for help for myself. I started attending Purposeful Living, Inc events even though I was dead broke, didn’t have clothes that fit properly and was so full of anxiety going places alone that afterwards I’d collapse in bed from exhaustion once I got home. During one of these events, Mary Beth was seated at my table. I remember I opened up a little about who I was even though sharing about my life was so painful for me. Mary Beth came around and gave me her card with her number and told me to text her to set up a time to have coffee together. I knew I needed help so I texted her the next day and met her at a local coffee shop with thick knots in my stomach. I remember our conversation and her sharing with me about the program she offered. It wasn’t long before I joined and started the 1 year fitness, therapy and Healing Journey program.
Those first few workouts with Bev were the hardest thing I’d ever done! My confidence was shot through, my strength gone and my fear high. However, I didn’t want to continue living the way I was, no job, no hope and everyday an emotional battlefield. Bev helped me push through week after week, my counselor got a tanker full of my thoughts and we all began to unravel the mess that was my life. I didn’t realize then how much the Lord was working in my life, but he was there and had led me to face my fears head on but not alone. By the time Sept 2021 came and I started the Healing Journey I knew I was in the right place and began the fight for my life, heart and soul. The Healing Journey was one of deep pain and comfort as Maryanne began to lead the class and help me find peace, healing and restoration in Jesus. My beliefs, lifestyle and everything I knew had never felt solid or grounded in truth, only confusion and guilt. I sought hard for the truth to stand firmly on, have confidence in my convictions and I began to pray that God would give me the eyes to see and heart to know His truth to lead my life in wholeness with Him.
As the program began to come to a close near the end of March I was and felt like a completely different person! The weight of my past, the pain that weighed me down so heavily was lifted and I found joy and peace! I not only was working, but running my own jobs with a hired friend full time. My confidence in Christ, who he is and who I am is the most precious thing to me now! My marriage is in a much better place, and growing everyday with my wonderful husband whom I love and adore! Above all I can stand on truth without doubt, I have peace and confidence in Christ.
God has given me back what was lost, stolen and ripped from me! I have support, friends, work and enjoy continuing to grow deeper in the truths of God and his love for me! My relationship with my parents is restored and my siblings’ relationships are slowly being rebuilt too. I just want to praise God and give him all the glory for using each person at Ignite Transform to stand by me, support me and be there to guide me to Jesus, who alone is my Strength, Provider, and Protector. I now see my life with new eyes, a new perspective and renewed hope! I have a sense of purpose, of being! I look forward each day to what the Lord has for me and my
life!
Thank you to my sponsor, Ignite Transform, and above all, the Lord for the work, love and support you’ve given me. I am a changed life because of each of you! Thank You from the bottom of my heart!
Amen and amen!
Forever your grateful student